Why Apologize? by Suzanne Scheideker Cook and Diana Reyes Williams

“An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything.” - Lynn Johnston

In the movie “Half Brothers,” which is both touching and hilarious, there is a scene where one brother, Renato, approaches the airport check-in attendant with an attitude. Because Renato is having a horrible day, he takes it out on the clerk by being rude. She asks him to apologize, but instead of realizing that he is wrong and apologizing, he decides to laugh. As events unfold, Renato realizes that he should have apologized to her and not seeing it as a sign of weakness.

Apologizing comes from a position of strength. Why apologize? Here are some good reasons:

1. We all occasionally say or do something that hurts others without realizing it. When we come to our senses, we realize an apology is needed to make up for the pain we caused. By apologizing to someone we hurt, we validate their feelings and their perceptions. An apology shows you care about the other person’s feelings and want to make things right.

2. There are other times where you did not create the situation but are receiving the brunt of another person’s frustration because you’re available. Saying “I’m sorry that you’re upset. Let me see what I can do to help you.” is a great way to apologize and diffuse the situation without accepting the blame. It provides an opening for the other person to calm down and for both of you to have a dialogue. It shows that you’re willing to take the first step to meet another person half-way.

3. Always offer a sincere apology, be genuine, and apologize for the right reason. An apology can help us move past a situation. It is possible that the apology may result in a lost relationship or a lack of forgiveness but in the end, it’s always better to have closure and no regrets.

4. When you apologize, you become the better person. In short, what is important is to offer an apology that is sincere and restorative. You show who you are by how you handle difficult situations.

Personal Challenge: Think of a moment when you had to apologize. How did you handle the difficult or uncomfortable situation? Did the apology allow for you to move on in a professional or respectful manner? Could you have handled it differently? It’s your decision and your end game.

Suzanne Scheideker Cook is the founder of Strategic Ventures and author of A Mentor At Your Fingertips. Suzanne worked her way up from clerk typist to senior management in the city of Los Angeles, and is now a consultant within the construction, transportation, and logistics industries. Additionally, Suzanne is a mentor for graduate business students at the University of Redlands’ School of Business.