Finding Joy In Life Balance by Suzanne Scheideker Cook
“Be aware of wonder. Live a balanced life – learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.” - Robert Fulghum
I love this quote! It’s a powerful reminder that the secret to having joy and living a balanced life is to take time every day, if only for a few moments, to be awestruck by admiring a flower, or a butterfly, or the sunset, or the laughter of a loved one. It’s also a gentle nudge for us to make time daily to learn, play, work, sing, and explore our creativity. When I feel my life spinning out of balance, I use the following practices to keep my joy and balance in life. By sharing them with you, hopefully they will help you too.
Are there any activities that you’re doing that don’t bring you joy? I feel honored when someone asks me to get involved with an organization. Often, I say, “yes” before thinking about it. There are commitments that are long-standing because I am passionate about them. There are other commitments that I do out of a sense of obligation. The time spent on these commitments takes away from other areas of my life that are my passion. When I realize this is happening, I reflect on if it’s time to let this go. If you feel this way about any of your commitments, perhaps it’s time for you to reflect on it and ask yourself, “Why am I doing this?” Depending on how you answer the question, it may be time to let it go gracefully.
Tying into this, is learning how to say, “No.” For me, this is still difficult. Now, before I commit to any new activity or commitment, I look at my schedule and calendar and ask myself, “Do I have time to do this?” If my answer is, “No,” I ask myself, “Is there something that I am willing to let go?” I’ve found that it’s also important to remember that saying, “No” is not selfish. Practicing saying, “No.” is a form of self-preservation.
Another question I ask myself is, “What have I done lately that adds joy to my life?” You might want to take the time to think about the last time you sang to a song, hummed a tune, or spent time on one of your hobbies.
My mom used to say, “If you don’t take care of yourself, who will?” For me, feeling frazzled and out of sorts are indicators that I have not spent enough time to rest, learn, or exercise. When this happens, I make time for me. Do you carve out time each day for you?
When I was battling cancer, I learned to identify people who had toxic personalities because I thought, and still think, they are detrimental to one’s health, success, and happiness. As much as possible, I avoid spending time with folks who fit this category. I have A, B, and C categories.
My A list folks are those that inspire, energize, and encourage me to grow. They make me a better me. Folks in my B category are people that I feel no better or worse by spending time with them. The folks in my C list drain my energy and find ways to put doubt in my mind about accomplishing my dreams. They don’t have anything positive to say about anyone or anything. I’m not referring to sharing life’s ups and downs, we all have rough patches. I’m talking about the folks who are consistently negative and constantly complaining. Do you know someone like this? You might want to ask yourself, “Why do you have them in your circle?” Perhaps, it is time to bless them and let them go.
Letting go can be incredibly difficult. For me, fear of change or a lack of confidence can hold me back from letting go. When I find myself struggling with letting go, I ask myself, “What am I willing to give up or let go to achieve something that is more important?” Letting go is a powerful tool to cultivate in life.
Even though it has been a while, I remember attending a time management seminar where the first thing the instructor did was draw a circle and then he divided the circle into quarters and wrote 25% in each of the quarters. He then turned to us and said, “Time management is merely a tool to use your time more wisely and to maintain balance in your life.” The instructor then wrote “Time Spent With Family and Friends” in the first quarter, “Spiritual Practices (prayer, meditation, reflection) and Learning” in the second quarter, “Work and Community Involvement” in the third quarter, and “Recreational and Cultural Activities” in the last quarter of the circle. He then asked us to draw the circle and put our actual percentages of time spent for each of these categories. It was an eye opener, and I still use this exercise when I feel that life is becoming too one-dimensional.
Your Personal Challenge is to draw the circle and then divide the circle into quarters. Label the quarters “Time Spent With Family and Friends,” “Spiritual Practices (prayer, meditation, reflection) and Learning,” “Work and Community Involvement,” and “Recreational and Cultural Activities,” and reflect on your answers. Does your current lifestyle bring you joy and life balance? If not, how and what can you do to change this?
