Instead Of Making Resolutions, Let Go by Suzanne Scheideker Cook
“When you let go, you create space for something better.” - Anonymous
In Iron Man 3, there is a scene towards the end where Jarvis says to Tony Stark, “Sir, do you mean the Clean Slate Protocol?” and Tony replies, “Why not? It’s Christmas.” While I am big on setting goals and having game plans written on white boards, there is a lot to be said about having your own “Clean Slate Protocol.” There are two ways that I do this: Sometimes, I jettison all my to-dos and goals, then I give myself several days and I start fresh. If a goal makes it back on my list, it’s because it continues to be important to me and not because it is there out of a sense of obligation or guilt. Other times, I let something go instead of adding another chore or expectation to my list.
It sounds easy to let go. In practice, it is challenging. When I have let go of the past or limiting beliefs about myself, I am renewed and get a fresh leash on life. Why? Because holding on to something that no longer serves you is a waste of energy.
It also prevents us from letting go and moving forward to learn or experience something new. For me, one example of letting go of self-imposed limitations is how I learned to play the timpani and other percussion instruments. You could say it was baptism by fire. From the age of five and throughout my entire life, I have been blessed to study keyboard instruments with amazing and respected teachers in the music world. (I studied accordion, piano, and organ while my sister learned the cello.) Once, I was at an orchestra rehearsal waiting for my sister and the rehearsal was going long because there was an upcoming concert which the timpani player had not shown up for, which added to the tension.
During the break, the conductor stopped by to chat with my mom and me. The conductor turned to me and said, “You study with a top piano teacher. I’ve been told you’re very good.” Surprised, I said, “Thank you.” He then said, “Since you can read music, you wouldn’t have any problem following an orchestral score. Could you play the timpani next rehearsal?” Stunned, I didn’t know how to respond. The conductor said, “Think about it. I will expect to see you next rehearsal unless you call me.” As I watched him walk away, I turned to my mom and said, “Do you think he was kidding?” My mom said, “That man doesn’t know how to kid. He was dead serious.” My mom then said, “Your dad played drums in college. He could help you out.” I said, “Mom, I have only ever played keyboard instruments. I can’t do this.” My mom shrugged and said, “No harm in trying it out.”
Self-doubt flooded my mind and became a mantra of “I can’t do this. If I make a mistake, everyone will laugh at me.” Sensing my trepidation, my dad said, “While you’re making up your mind whether you are going to do this, I can show you a few things.” I remember saying, “I can’t do this.” My dad said “I think you’re confusing can’t with won’t. You’ll never know unless you try.” Reluctantly, I agreed to have my dad show me how to hold the different types of drum sticks used for the timpani and how to use a practicing block. I showed up at the next rehearsal expecting derisive laughter. Instead, the conductor and the other percussion player warmly greeted me. Was it hard? Yes. But letting go of my fears made room for learning new skills, meeting new people, and having new experiences. The other percussion player was a professional musician. Over time, he became one of my great mentors showing me the ropes and helping me get playing gigs as a percussionist. The conductor eventually asked me to serve as the accompanist for his string master classes. This experience reminds me that letting go of what no longer serves us is the cornerstone of positive change in our lives.
When you let go, you create space for something new to happen. This week, try using, “I do what is mine to do and then let go.”
